I’m sending you this video from my hotel room in Washington DC. And no, it’s not what you think!
I traveled in on Wednesday and head back home Saturday morning. I’m already excited to get back home and see the fam…and I’m enjoying my time here.
Not too long ago, though, I had issues with traveling and speaking. So many issues, in fact, that I had to fire my travel scheduler (you’ll hear the short story in the video).
My problems weren’t related to a dislike of flying or the cities that I visited. The frustration that I felt was something completely different.
I felt tired, frustrated, and didn’t feel like I was showing up as the mom, coach, and person that I wanted to be because I had traveled to 4 different states, in 2 different time zones, and it was too much.
The beautiful part about this frustration is that it’s a clue. It’s a signal that it’s time to create a new standard or boundary in your business or life.
In case you’re wondering how a standard differs from a boundary, I gotcha covered. A standard is how you do you. It’s how you show up for yourself. A boundary is how you allow others to treat you.
Four trips in one month was beyond my personal threshold so I updated my standard on the spot (after I fired my travel scheduler – more on that in the video): I will not travel more than 2 times, max, per month for my business. Speaking, attending retreats with my coach/mentor, or other work was limited to two trips per each calendar month.
Line in the sand: drawn.
Click to WATCH
Any you know what happened? As soon as I put that new standard in place, the Universe tested me. I had three or four opportunities come up, almost immediately, that would take me out of town and break my newly minted standard.
It was income, opportunities…and I stood strong and stuck to my new standard. It felt great to have a “way this works” and to honor how I wanted to run my business.
Was I risking losing the opportunities altogether? Yep.
I simply informed the third and fourth opportunities that I only travel up to two times per month and that I could schedule something the following month if that worked with their schedule.
And guess what? It did.
Just like everything in our business, creating standards and boundaries is an ongoing and evolving process. You’re changing and growing so it only makes sense that these change and grow with you.
“Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others.” – Brene Brown
Over the next week, I want you to seek out specific examples of things or events that make you feel frustrated, resentful, or out of control. Then, look at the specific event and decide if it’s about you or if it’s about how others are treating you. (Clients often push the limits and highlight areas for us where we can upgrade our boundaries!)
Or, you can look at this through the lens of how you’ll be in 5 years: What are you tolerating right now that the future you wouldn’t?
Once you’ve identified the circumstance(s), imagine how you’d like to feel and how you’d like for it to go. What does that look like?
Then, after you’ve identified how you’ll update your standards or boundaries, I want you to think through who needs to be informed of this change.
For example, is this something that you’ll share with your clients during your next coaching call? Add to your contract? Does it mean sharing with your spouse what “work hours” are and to please not interrupt you while you’re on calls? Could it be that you let your assistant know exactly what you expect and discuss how you can best set your relationship up for success?
This is a fun – and energizing – process. This process allows you to zap those energy leaks and take responsibility for how you – and others – treat you.
You deserve the best, always, so let’s get busy upgrading!